| Saturday, July 17th, 2004 |
| 10:00 pm |
And After 2 Years...
Wow, this thing is still here. Got sick of my xanga never working how I wanted it to work. College essays was the last thing I complained about on this thing. Times have changed. I think I can remember what that last post was about too. It all worked out surprising well so no worries. |
| Tuesday, October 15th, 2002 |
| 10:19 pm |
Just Some Quick Thoughts
Is it better to possibly hurt a friend or endure pain to continue a friendship? AND Is indecision a decision? Current Mood: PerplexedCurrent Music: One Last Breath |
| Tuesday, October 8th, 2002 |
| 10:45 pm |
I forgot about this thing.... Over the past few weeks I've been buried with college essays, visits, applications, letters, recomendation..... Last night I applied to JMU and UVA. I saw UVA a few weeks ago and I thought it was really great and the best school I've visited thus far. The only draw back to UVA is that it doesn't have a strong band program. It's no secrect that I'm not really that great at music. Unless this year is really good in band I think it will be my last year in music. I have to get serious about medical school soon. Won't be much of a loss to the music world. If I go to JMU or VTech I'll probably keep with music since I've heard good things about their bands. My biggest problem now is gonna be keeping my grades up Current Mood:  tiredCurrent Music: One Last Breath |
| Thursday, August 29th, 2002 |
| 11:10 pm |
Day One...
I've actually been wanting to go back to school for a few weeks now, sadly. A break is nice but i need to find some point to life again. Last night I had some mixed feelings about school and couldnt sleep. I read the past months lj updates since I havent log on forever it seems and sent an email or two. Finally sleep overtook me. This morning I woke up looking forward to school. Once again that's pretty sad. Guess it has something to do with being a senior or something. I felt like I was awake, which was weird cuz I only got a few hours of sleep. Before I know what happened I'm in hell's parking lot looking into its gates. I was so glad to leave this place a few months ago. Why do I look forward to return to its endless pains? Something is seriously wrong with me. The day was fast, boring at parts, and rather pointless. After about 2hrs my mixed emotions began to resurface. I shrugged them off and continued. I saw people today that I havent had to think about and want them to go far far away. Fallen angles of hell? It's 11:30, time to escape the halls and return to a fading illusion of happiness. Off to landmark, feed my cafine addiction. Mixed feelings clawing their way up from the recesses of my soul. Now I'm home trying to relax. The good still outweighing the bad but the bad slowly overtaking. I now have a strange feeling in my chest. Far from upset or unhappy, not happy or content. Perhaps the good and bad feelings waging war in my soul? I try to distact myself via AIM and stuff that usually settles me, but things arent better. Maybe I need to find something new to distract myself with. Things arent good nor bad yet for this year. There is still a chance I may enjoy senior year. The war wages on..... Current Mood:  distressedCurrent Music: Silence |
| Monday, August 12th, 2002 |
| 4:40 pm |
Quickly checking in...
Chris has money and a new cable modem / email address. If anyone wants the new email address IM me and ask. My old one will work for about another month. I'll write again b4 I leave for SC. |
| Monday, July 15th, 2002 |
| 12:50 am |
Been awhile since I actually took time and wrote more than a sentence. I was going to write a lot about "A Beautiful Mind" (my last post that I actually wrote), but I'm just gonna keep it short. In the movie the main character has some sort of 'sickness' (not gonna give away too much) and everyone mocks him cuz he acts weird. I take meds that make me "anti-social" cuz of my surgery. I know people think stuff about me cuz of it, like the guy in the movie, but I never really put much thought into it till I saw it. I have a job. Basically I help the landscape crew at Hayfield View water plants. I drive a golf cart with giant water containers on it and deliever the water to people who water plants. Only 4 hours a day 4 days a week. The pay is good and it gives me a reason to get out of bed in the mornings. This job only goes through September but starts up again in March (no need to water plants in winter). I know it sounds sorta stupid, but all I do is drive a golf cart and get paid. If you look at it like that its not that bad. What else has been going on??? Been looking at colleges (UVA, William and Mary, Tech (Soon), and a few others). I've been finding the car driving itself to Starbucks a lot. By now I'm addicted to that place. I have work in the morning, gotta get some sleep. Current Mood:  calmCurrent Music: My December |
| Friday, July 12th, 2002 |
| 10:48 pm |
Chris isnt a bum anymore, he finally got a job that pays well. |
| Sunday, June 30th, 2002 |
| 12:30 am |
My Week
I have been wanting to update but there hasnt been time. My cousins are in town and I've been hanging out with them most the week. Its been pretty cool. They are the only people who actually finish a game of risk. Not much sleep going on this week. B4 they came I saw the movie "A Beautiful Mind". I have a lot to say about this but as I said there hasnt been much sleep going on. Next time I post I'll pick up here. Current Mood: tiredCurrent Music: My December |
| Saturday, June 22nd, 2002 |
| 12:56 pm |
Better
I was in Baltimore the other day with paretns and grandparents and at John Hopkins. We spent the night in Baltimore. No more head aches for the time so I can leave the house again. Stuff to do. I'll write more later. Current Mood:  drainedCurrent Music: Computer Hummmmmmmmm |
| 12:56 pm |
Better
I was in Baltimore the other day with paretns and grandparents and at John Hopkins. We spent the night in Baltimore. No more head aches for the time so I can leave the house again. Stuff to do. I'll write more later. |
| Thursday, June 20th, 2002 |
| 10:56 pm |
Sick
Sorry I haven't had my phone on or returning calls. I haven't been feeling well. If you need to get ahold of me for some reason and can't wait call my house. |
| Friday, June 14th, 2002 |
| 12:26 am |
"Which Star Wars Character Would You Be?"
which Episode II character are you?Probably the greatest Jedi Knight of all. Like Obi Wan, you are wise and keep your feet on the ground at all times. You will not be outsmarted by anyone. You are always faithful to your friends. Be careful though, danger lurks around every corner - you could even be betrayed by those closest to you. That's pretty scary cuz thats exactly how I like to think of myself. "You could even be betrayed by those closest to you" A truth I live by: "The closer someone is to you the easier and deeper they can stab you" |
| Thursday, June 13th, 2002 |
| 11:59 pm |
Just felt like updating
Summer... Nothing has really been going on thus i havent updated in awhile. I've been hanging out with people about every night, movies, sleep, ect. Tonight i left my phone in my room so i didnt think anyone called to do anything till I checked it out 1130. A ltl too late to plan something to do. Im probably gonna have a job soon so i will have money to spend at night. Everything else is usual; the getting yelled at and feeling useless. Current Mood:  lazyCurrent Music: Too tired / lazy to think |
| Monday, June 10th, 2002 |
| 12:06 am |
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| Monday, June 3rd, 2002 |
| 7:42 pm |
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| Saturday, June 1st, 2002 |
| 10:27 pm |
Busy hating exams... Almost over Current Mood: determinedCurrent Music: ??? |
| 1:24 am |
Change...
Graduation... Played at the graduation today. It wasn't as long as last year. There were a lot of changes from last years that made it quicker. Even though it was shorter this year, I think last year had a more personal touch. Uncertain... I feel sorta messed up. I went into the ceremony, like usual, with my usual pre-concert professional attitude and came out of the ceremony with a strange feeling. At some point during the ceremony I caught myself looking over the graduates finding people I know. Then it hit me that they really are leaving. When I thought about it before I thought something like "Good, now I'm at the top of the school." I've been waiting for a long time for that. But no, they ARE leaving. There are only one or two that I know really well but over the past few months I met a bunch of them and I guess we sorta hung out once and awhile. They arent leaving forever but its still a weird feeling. I'm not a person that likes change at all and I know I don't adapt to change quickly. I like things to be set and to know what to expect day in and out for the most part. The whole "Wow, they are leaving" thing was a little shocking. After the ceremony I was standing to the side and a bunch of the graduates came by to say something to me on their way to their cars. I guess they do sorta consider me a friend, not close but still a friend. I'm not quite sure what I'm gonna think when next year starts and they aren't around. Only time will tell... Current Mood: uncomfortableCurrent Music: Across the stars |
| Thursday, May 30th, 2002 |
| 10:17 pm |
The Good... No more classes Quick and easy day Friday School Almost over The Bad... Exams! No more ministry center sofas (The only thing i will miss about BI) The long graduation mass (Im sorry but its soo long) The Odd... Jeanne's car battery died. Chris was there to save the day and bring here home after an unsuccessful attempt to jump the car. What would you all do without me (Ansr: youd probably be fine) Current Mood: ???Current Music: Green Day |
| Wednesday, May 29th, 2002 |
| 11:10 pm |
The Bad... I thought I lost my wallet today. After being all panicy all day I got home to find it on my dresser (yes I'm an idiot). Exams next week. Not doing anything this weekend cuz it. I hate exams. Yet another sign school is out to break us... On the last day of classes I have two tests. Isnt the last day suppose to be a party day? In the classes whrer there is no test theres gonna be exam stuff. I have nothing against reviewing but we could have done it already and be having parties. They yell at us for procrastinating. Graduation... Ehh...Have to go cause of the band. I want to go to see some people (possibly for the last time) but I remember how long and boring it was last year. This is the first year I'm actually gonna miss one or two of the seniors. Maybe it will mean a little more this year cuz of that. Cant think of anything else worth writing. Today was slow and boring. Current Mood: Not CaringCurrent Music: Green Day |
| 12:38 am |
Something Unpredictable...
I havent written in awhile cuz there really was nothing to write about. Nothing new or no time, till today. Earlier I was in the ministry center expecting another sleep/relax for lunch. A friend was already in there, sleeping from last period, and a few more gradually trickled in. I started talking about college stuff with people and i guess I got really involved or something (I was told later I was acting "really strange". Probably cuz usually I just lay there and barely say a word. Someone brought a guitar from home (a senior who came back to visit i think),passed it around, and people tried to play. David apparently takes guitar lessions and started fooling around making up songs. He eventually evolved it into a Green Day Song "....Hope you had the time of your life..." We all sorta knew the song and sang along (about 5 or 6 of us). This was the first time that I felt that I 'fit in' to a group at BI. I have friends, but I dont really feel like I fit in with most of them. I'm very different from most everyone at the school. Funny tho how it usually doesnt bother me being alone. Guess I'm use to it after all this time. Getting back to lunch.... So David started playing stuff I didnt know the words well enough to sing so i listened. I looked around and didnt feel empty anymore. First time in a LONG time. Dare i say i might have been happy? I've never had a lunch like that one. Prom Weekend.... After what happened I wanted nothing to do with anything having to do the slightest bit with prom. A few 'post prom' parties were being planed that I was invited to but I wanted nothing to do with any of them. The day b4 prom i was talking with someone about prom. This person had been telling me to go since b4 prom had crossed anyone's mind. I was once again invited to a party and really didnt want to go. I eventually gave in and said if it would really make that much of a difference I would go to the party but not prom itself (Too late to buy a ticket if i wanted to go anyway). So now its Friday and I'm really not wanting to go. Most of the people going I really didnt know at all. Reluctantly at about 1230 or so I get picked up by someone else who was only going to the party and by 130 we find the house. It turned out to be better than I expected (besides getting about 30mins of sleep, but thats my fault). I didnt do much other than lsy on the couch and talk but it was a lot better than staying home. Unfortanately most of the people that I was just getting to know are leaving for college next year. Prom surprisingly turned out to be a pretty good time. Current Mood: calmCurrent Music: Green Day |
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